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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

How to get rid of Guilt!

Easy Lies

Small lies... Harmless little feathery lies, silly silky fluttering flattering moth-soft lies that brush against the listeners'  faces and make them smile. Lies innocent as butterflies - as short-lived  and light-as-air. Touchstone's definition does not include these.
I started small with Johnny, Johnny, Yes, Papa lies. Three older sisters ready to catch me out. I'd sneak out their comics and story-books from under their pillows while they slept. Instincts of self-preservation made me lie with a straight face. 'I haven't touched your stupid book', 'How am I to know where you've kept it!'
At school  a sunny smile helped- 'I wasn't talking', 'I've left my homework at home'.
Lies were there, lying all about me, to shield me from punishment.
Lies - yes... but what a lot of truth those lies revealed about me, my childhood. My naive defences  were no defences at all - mum seemed to know everything but she never scolded or smacked me. I felt low with feelings of guilt if I lied to mum, but had no compunction whatever about fibbing to my sisters! They would rave and rant a bit, but that was all.
Not that I didn't wish to be good and honest like Uncle Arthur's Gladys Great-heart, but I realised quite early that  there is a wide chasm between the ideal and the real, and unknowingly I put the teachings of a Zen master into practice -  in a moment of crisis for me I was the most important person and the most important task was to save my bacon and the most important time was 'now'.
In my teens and twenties I  dabbled with the truth, and emerged battle-worn and weary.
Discretion is now my watchword. People ask for an opinion, but don't want to hear the truth...they just want a back-up!
Lies are the sponge-soft mattresses, the cosy quilts on  wintry mornings.  I think, and this is my honest opinion, lies are just as important and essential to living as the truth.Guileless lies are guiltless lies. If I can make someone happier or more confident with a small harmless little lie, well why not? No Hiroshima will be destroyed by it.
So get rid of your guilt and go ahead and spread some buttery sunshine around.

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